No disrespect to the Steph Curry signature sneaker that melted the internet last June, but Nike's Air Monarch IV has always been the most dad-ass dad shoe. 。 Now -- thanks to Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, who leads Seattle into the NFL Playoffs this weekend -- the Air Monarch just became even more dad. And the haters said it couldn't be done!。 。 Before we plunge forth, let's briefly recap the Air Monarch's credentials as, well, the monarch of all dad shoes. It's a piece of (ostensibly) athletic footwear that is chunky, bland and not exactly cutting-edge. It's a shoe sized not just in traditional lengths but in widths as well. It's also a shoe that is by all accounts extremely comfortable.
。 Behold the dad-ness below. 。 Credit: nike.com。 So legendary has the Air Monarch's dorkiness become, in fact, that。Complex。 wrote two years ago that the model had become a "parody of itself." There's even an Instagram account that chronicles Air Monarch sightings in the wild. What the Air Jordan is to uber-hip sneaker-heads, the Air Monarch is to the Dockers-wearing over-50 set. (And don't think those fogies aren't buying them -- the Air Monarch is reportedly among Nike's best-selling shoes, fire emojis or no fire emojis.)。 Credit: Julio Cortez/AP
。 During the most recent off-season, Seahawks equipment managers tried to get Carroll to upgrade his footwear to something a little more suave. But he stayed loyal and kept the Monarchs.
。 By signing up you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. 。 Thanks for signing up!。 Here, via B/R Kicks, is a look at a Carroll-exclusive version of the Air Monarch that Nike produced for the Seattle head man. Emblazoned on the tongue is "ALWAYS COMPETE," one of Carroll's go-to coaching phrases.。 Tweet may have been deleted 。 Tweet may have been deleted。It's like some twisted geniuses at Nike sat down and had a conversation along these lines:。 "Is there any。possible。 way we can make the most dad shoe of all time。 even dorkier。 ?"。 "I know! The Air Monarch ... but with ... wait for it ... a fatherly maxim on the tongue!" 。 And boom -- there's your Don Draper moment, folks.
。 Sadly, the Carroll-exclusive nature of these Air Monarch iterations means they'll likely never be available for purchase. But Nike could really be on to something here. "Always compete" isn't just a Carroll coaching favorite -- it sounds like something your dad would tell you with the utmost conviction on an emotional ride home from baseball practice.
。 Perhaps Nike could boost the Air Monarch's appeal in the dad market even further by making this a thing. Might we suggest companion versions of the shoe with the following sayings emblazoned on the tongue. 。 "I'm not mad, just disappointed."。 "I'm not mad, just disappointed."。 "Money doesn't grow on trees."
。 "A little hard work never hurt anyone."。 "Don't call me later, call me dad." 。 "Perhaps you should consider a major that's a bit more practical."。 In the process, the most dad-ass dad shoe of all dad shoes somehow became even more dad.
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"Don't tell your mother."。
"I can't wait to read Bruce Springsteen's new autobiography."。
Well, maybe that last one is a little too long.。But come on, Nike. Just do it, as the saying goes. These are the Air Monarchs we -- or at least our dads -- deserve.
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