Trump's MOST DISHONEST AND CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR are supposedly tomorrow, and everywhere you go you can feel the lack of anticipation in the air. Too bad. I loveawards season. And just because these particular awards are a pernicious assault on the free press and were devised by a president whose brain has been deep fried in canola oil, it doesn't mean we can't make a few blue carpet prognostications. Over the past year, the MSM has worked tirelessly to help keep the president up at night, stress-eating cheeseburgers and screaming at Jared like Trumpy Dearest from underneath his bathrobe. For that, they should be honored. Here are our predictions for every category Trump is likely to devise, as well as a list of projected winners. Nominees: Don Lemon, Mika Brzezinski, Ana Navarro, whoever wrote that SNL skit that said Bannon was president Projected winner:Don Lemon.Trump has already called Don Lemon the "dumbest man on television." In his defense, we should trust Trump's opinion because he's, like, really smart. Nominees: Alan Dershowitz, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, the corpse of Roger Ailes Projected Winner: Sean Hannity.He tops Trump's list for sheer slavishness alone, but he'd also like to give an honorable mention to Twitter user @WhiteGenocide666 for excellence in frog memes. Nominees:Tomi Lahren, Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, Judge Jeanine Pirro Projected Winner: Jeanine Pirro. Pirro has never once questioned her support for Trump, and she manages to stan for authoritarianism while wearing four-inch heels. Nominees: Donald Trump, Schmonald Trump, Fred Trump, The Man Who Makes That Beautiful Chocolate Cake Projected Winner: Donald Trump. Every world leader knows that Trump is a much better president than Obama, probably the best in history, as well as the best jobs president God has ever created. "If we let fewer men into the country, women will HAVE to date me." pic.twitter.com/zlSYUeJz79 Nominees:Reince Priebus, Kellyanne Conway, Stephen Miller, Mike Pence Projected winner:Stephen Miller.While Miller might look rigid from the outside, he's got a soft cushy spot for educated Neo-Nazis behind all of his layers of lizard epidermis. Nominees: Projected Winner: The Trump cover he had photoshopped. This is a Trump-branded product, which signifies excellence all around the world. Just ask the graduates of Trump University. Nominees: CNN, The New York Times, Jeff Bezos' Washington Post, Trump's daily security briefing Projected Winner:The Failing New York Times. Watch out for Trump's daily security briefing, however -- it's a strong contender in the race, since Trump gives his briefing a failing grade for lacking the requisite number of mentions of his name per sentence. Nominees: #FraudNewsCNN #FNN pic.twitter.com/WYUnHjjUjg Sheriff David Clarke sends graphic tweet slamming the press amid reports of FBI probe https://t.co/WCy4lukitB pic.twitter.com/HrFuIYp8Uv Projected Winner: Twitter user @SLandinSoCal's original illustration, "Trump Train Kills CNN Reporter at dusk."Trump would have gladly kept this meme up on his Twitter account, if only Hall Monitor Kelly, who does not understand Trump's media genius, wasn't Chief Killjoy. Nominees: With all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country! North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works! Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me "old," when I would NEVER call him "short and fat?" Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen! Projected Winner:"My Button Works"simply must win, since it caused he greatest amount of international anxiety incited per character. Nominees: Bustle, "What to Do if Your Partner Wants You to Pee on Them" The Daily Beast, "Andrew Breitbart's Photo of Anthony Weiner's Penis Helped Donald Trump Become President" WikiHow, "How to Make a McDonalds BigMac -- 11 Steps With Pictures" Projected Winner: Breitbart's weenie photo,for the role it played in taking down Crooked Hillary Clinton. Nominees:Fox & Friends, Justice with Judge Janine,Hannity, reruns of The Apprentice Projected Winner: The Apprentice,with a special thanks to Frederick Douglass, whose contributions are being recognized more and more! Nominees: Rudy Giuliani, Rupert Murdoch, Chris Christie ... Donald Trump! Projected Winner: Donald Trumpis the projected winner of the most prestigious MOST DISHONEST AND CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS Award. An early congratulations to the President for his historic achievement at the groundbreaking awards ceremony he came up with while throwing wrappers at the TV. Who needs "Medals of Freedom" and "Volunteer Service Awards" when you can instead have the MOST DISHONEST AND CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS? It's his most significant self-awarded award to date, and this is only Season 1 of our dystopia. Here's to whatever the hell is next. TopicsDonald TrumpPoliticsCATEGORY: "Dumbest Fake News Reporter"
Joe and MikaCredit: Gavin bond/nbc/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty ImagesCATEGORY: "Best Man in Media"
CATEGORY: "Best Woman in Media in a Skirt"
Laura IngrahamCredit: chip somodevilla/Getty ImagesCATEGORY: "The Roy Cohn Lifetime Achievement Award"
Roy Cohn, a close friend of Trump's and chief counsel to Joseph McCarthy during the Cold War era, poses with his book.Credit: The LIFE Picture Collection/Getty ImagesCATEGORY: "Best Performance on Sunday Morning Talk Shows"
CATEGORY: "Best Time Covers of Trump"
CATEGORY: "Biggest Failing Network and/or Newspaper with Terrible Ratings"
Maggie Haberman of The New York Times.Credit: Getty Images for New York MagaziCATEGORY: "Best Original Anti-CNN GIF or Meme"
CATEGORY: "Best Original Tweet by Donald J. Trump"
CATEGORY: "Best Story Featuring Big Pictures, Not Words"
CATEGORY: "Best News Show My Incredible DVR Machine Plays"
CATEGORY: "Most Stable Genius in Media"
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